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Divergent (Film Transcript)
Narrator: One day, in the factional city of Chicago... Beatrice: Dang…how long do I have to wait in line for this stupid— Candor Boy: OMG! THE DAUNTLESS ARE COMING THE DAUNTLESS ARE COMING!!!!! (A train full of people in black jumpsuits whizzes by. Everyone in it begins jumping out.) Amity Boy: … Teenage Dauntless Girl: ELLIE GOOOUUUUULDIIIING!!!!! *jumps and lands in grass* Five minutes of the exact same thing later… Tori: Beatrice, get your butt in here! I don't have all day! Or maybe I do… *cackles maniacally* Beatrice: Well, FYI, I have plans tonight! So I'' don't have all day! '''Tori:' Just drink the apple juice… *hands Beatrice a glass of blue stuff* Beatrice: WTH?!?! THIS AIN'T APPLE JUICE! *forces herself to drink it anyway, then falls asleep* Two minutes after waking up… Beatrice: OH EM GEEH!!!!!!!! THE LIGHTS ARE SO PRETTY! Young Beatrice: Choose. Beatrice: Why? Young Beatrice: Choose! Beatrice: Fine, be that way. Wait...what's that dog doing here? Young Beatrice: Getting ready to kill you. Beatrice: Oh, cool! Wait, I mean, *camera cuts to shot of a forest* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *birds fly away by the tens of thousands* Dog: *growls ferociously* Beatrice: God help me now! Suddenly... Dog: *turns into a chihuahua* Beatrice: Well, that was uncalled for. Young Beatrice: BUT SCREW DAT, LET'S HAVE A DANCE PARTY!!!! *whips out futuristic cell-phone thingie and calls some people. But not just any people...* Several minutes in SST (Simulation Standard Time) later... Everyone: *dances like there's no tomorrow* (Beatrice wakes up from the simulation) Beatrice: Oh ma gawd. *bursts into laughter* Tori: Beatrice— Beatrice: Did you see when the dog appeared, and I was screaming so loud the birds flew away— Tori: Beatrice— Beatrice: —and then the dog turned into a puppy, and young me called a bunch of people over for a dance party— Tori: *starts to get annoyed* Beatrice— Beatrice: —and if you'd been looking into my thoughts at the moment of the dance party, I'd have been all like, "THAT DJ IS SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!"— Tori: *gets REALLY annoyed* That was Zedd. And Beatrice—! Beatrice: —and he got this one song stuck in my head...it was all like "I WILL FIND YOU!!" and was sorta repetitive, but it was EPI— Tori: BEATRICE! YOUR RESULTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE! NOW LISTEN TO THE REST BEFORE I KILL YOU! Beatrice: Yeah, like I'm supposed to believe that you're gonna— Tori: *pulls out a stick* FOR DAUNTLESS! This part was lost due to censorship. Later that night... Caleb: Beatrice! WTH happened to your face?! Beatrice: TORI DID THIS!! *starts crying* Caleb: Who? Beatrice: TORI! MY SIMULATION ADMINISTRATOR! Caleb: Huh? Beatrice: I SAID, TORI DID THIS TO MY FACE!!!! *cries even harder at her brother's ignorance* Caleb: I know, but who the heck is Tori?!?! Beatrice: *gasps* YOU SON OF A— This part was lost due to censorship as well. The next morning, at the Choosing Ceremony... Jeanine: I know that most of you already know this story, but I will repeat it anyway just to annoy you all. Decades ago... (Jeanine goes on for hours about how the heck the faction system was formed) Jeanine: And that's how Equestria was made! Everyone: ... Jeanine: DANG IT! WHO'S BEEN SCREWING WITH THE TELEPROMPTER?! *walks off the stage for a few minutes, then comes back holding the ceremonial knife* Now, let's begin, shall we? Ten minutes of watching people cut their palms later... Jeanine: Caleb Prior. Caleb: YESSSSSSSSSS! IT WORKED!!!! (Caleb chooses Erudite. Almost everyone is shocked.) Abnegation Woman: OH GOD, NO! NOW HE'S GOING TO BECOME LIKE ONE OF THEM! *points at random Erudite girl* Erudite Girl: ...so if the Z consists entirely of 45 and 90-degree angles and has a surface area of 3.6527392 inches, and the circle has a radius of approximately 1.2232 inches, then the area of the circle not covered by the Z must be— (A random Dauntless boy chucks an apple at the Erudite girl's head) Dauntless Boy: NOT NOW!!! (Everyone then sits down and acts like nothing ever happened.) ---- To be continued... Category:Transcripts Category:Film Transcripts Category:Film Scripts Category:Fan Fiction